Editing Family Plot/Transcript

{{Infobox transcript
|act = 3shizune
|title = Family Plot
|characters=*[[Hisao Nakai]]
*[[Shizune Hakamichi]]
*[[Misha]]
*[[Jigoro Hakamichi]] (first appearance)
*[[Hideaki Hakamichi]]
|prev = [[Use-Mention Distinction/Transcript|Use-Mention Distinction]]
|next = [[Pangrammatic Window/Transcript|Pangrammatic Window]]
}}NARRATOR: "Despite having only been here for two days, it feels like it's been much longer. I wake up feeling more tired than refreshed. Maybe because I've been moving around almost constantly since I got here. Whatever the reason, it's making me get up unusually late each day. I like sleeping in, but it could be inconvenient if it ends up becoming a habit. I can hear a deep, male voice shouting loudly in the background. It must be Shizune's dad. Or maybe, with the size of this place, it's creditors. More likely the former, since the yelling doesn't seem angry, just loud."

NARRATOR: "Shizune, Misha, and Hideaki are sitting in the living room, having a one-sided conversation with a giant bear-man who alternates between shoveling away food from a plate balanced on his leg and twirling a sword. From what Shizune and Hideaki are like, I'd expected their dad to be a very reserved, clean-cut, possibly androgynous person, so I'm pretty surprised. I'm surprised for a while, until he starts talking to me."

JIGORO: "Hello! You must be Shizune's other friend. Did you have a good night's rest? The guest rooms are a bit sparse, if there is anything you need, feel free to tell me."

HISAO: "Thanks. You must be Shizune's father. It's nice to meet you. I'm Shizune's classmate, Hisao Nakai."

JIGORO: "The pleasure is mine. I've wanted to meet you, after hearing that I would have a second guest in my house. Unexpected. You hear something like that, and obviously you want to see what that person is like. Would you like my business card?"

NARRATOR: "He holds up a case full of them for a second and I can see that his name is Jigoro and that his office hours are from eight to six. They also say that he's a “consultant”. What a prepared guy, carrying his card case around in his own home."

JIGORO: "We're just sitting down to a slightly late lunch, you're just in time to join us. Good. Pick a place to sit down and I'll bring you a plate. I hope you don't mind eating bear liver."

NARRATOR: "I thought that bear liver was toxic. Either way, the thought of eating a bear liver doesn't appeal to me other than for the ability to tell people I've eaten bear liver. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try it. But Shizune's dad merely laughs."

JIGORO: "I'm just making a joke. Although, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to cook up some bear livers for you kids. They will make you strong. We're actually having omelettes. I'll make you one right now. Is that unusual for you, having an omelette for lunch?"

HIDEAKI: "Very unusual."

HISAO: "No, not at all."

NARRATOR: "Jigoro vanishes to where the kitchen must be. I'm surprised that despite living in this place, he has to cook my lunch. Maybe he only cooks because he likes to. My steaming plate of food is done in a very short time. It smells really good."

JIGORO: "Are you in the Student Council, like Shizune? Is the Student Council that busy, that Shizune has to drag her friends along with her everywhere she goes?"

SHIZUNE: (signing) "Sometimes a vacation is just a vacation."

HISAO: "You're right about the student council part. I think we're just here for fun, though."

JIGORO: "I see. Is that right? When I was young, our student councils had so much work that I don't think we could have afforded going on vacation. It must be nice, having so much free time. Should give you plenty of time to think about your future."

NARRATOR: "I do not like the direction this discussion is taking, and start thinking about how to avoid it."

JIGORO: "Have you thought about that? About what you want to do?"

HISAO: "No, I haven't given it much thought recently. What do you do, if you don't mind me asking? It must be something pretty cool, if it can get you a house like this."

JIGORO: "Why do you want to know that? Children aren't interested in business. What business of yours is my business? Suspicious. Are you some kinda tax man, boy?"

NARRATOR: "I guess he really does not like being asked questions."

MISHA: "Hicchan isn't a tax collector's boy, I think~. Hicchan, what do your parents do? You never told us~!"

JIGORO: "You, be quiet. Don't interrupt me. I hate being interrupted. Rude."

MISHA: "Aah~..."

NARRATOR: "Shizune doesn't look too happy with this turn of events. Even with Misha unable to sign to her what's going on, she can read the mood easily. Her glare becomes more smoldering as Jigoro continues to rant."

JIGORO: "One more thing. My fishing equipment. I came home and it was just in a big pile in the corner. Rods just stacked haphazardly on top of tackle."

HIDEAKI: "That was me."

NARRATOR: "I can't remember if it actually was him. If it wasn't, I appreciate that he's willing to take one for the team. It doesn't matter because Jigoro ignores him without skipping a beat."

JIGORO: "Well, anyway, I'm glad that my fishing equipment could provide so much entertainment for my daughter's friends. Did not even tell me you were going to be using them. Those are expensive, custom-made poles. Not for dilettantes."

NARRATOR: "I suddenly become aware of the eggshell fragments in my omelette. Is he just a bad cook? Does he eat them for the calcium? Were they purposely added there to give me even more discomfort? Though confused, I'm not as unnerved as I think I would normally be. Then again, my life has been pretty strange lately, and I keep running into all sorts of different people. Nothing surprises me any more."

JIGORO: "Didn't even properly clean them after use. Terrible. Do you even know how to fish? Unlikely. There are not enough poles here for all of you. How does that work? Did you all share? One person baits the hook, and another casts? Two people to reel? Incompetent."

HISAO: "Well, six of us went, so we couldn't all do it at the same time. First it was just me, [[Akira]], Hideaki, and Misha."

JIGORO: "Stop talking. That sounds unspeakably dirty. I have had enough of your filth. How vulgar. Make sure that your statements are not so embarrassingly, carelessly worded next time."

HISAO: "What...?"

JIGORO: "“What?” You are so disrespectful. Amazing. Are all delinquent types like this? Even the way you dress shows flippant disregard for authority. Sweater vest. Disgraceful..."

HISAO: "Delinquent? I'm on the Student Council."

NARRATOR: "I'm hurt by his comment on my sweater vest, especially when it's coming from a guy in such a tacky shirt. I guess I can't really say anything, though. He has a sword. He might also kill bears. Misha loudly puts her plate down on the table."

MISHA: "That was delicious~! Shicchan and I are done now. Hicchan, you are too, right~? We should get going!"

NARRATOR: "What a simple, yet effective exit strategy. I barely have the time to put down my plate before they pull me up and out of there, and finally outside."

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "Unbelievable~! It's like I'm really watching an interrogation~! This is not a cop show! Guests definitely have responsibilities, but hasn't he ever heard of being a gracious host~? Really~!"

NARRATOR: "Misha attempts to sloppily mimic Shizune's angry, chopping gestures as best as she can. She has the expression down too, but the tone of her voice is the same as ever, thus lacking the anger necessary to bring it all together."

MISHA: "Wahaha~. Don't take it too hard, Hicchan~! Shicchan's dad does this to everyone, I think it's like a joke~."

HISAO: "That was the most aggressive joke possible."

NARRATOR: "I'm also not at all convinced that it was a joke, considering this hastily staged retreat, but this isn't a good moment to discuss how Shizune's father might be a jerk."

MISHA: "Hicchan, let's go shopping!"

SHIZUNE: (signing) "You haven't been to town yet, have you? It'll be fun. We can see the sights, and go to an amusement park, maybe eat at a good restaurant."

HISAO: "We just had lunch."

NARRATOR: "Even though I didn't eat much."

SHIZUNE: (signing) "It's okay, in that case, we just have to make sure that today is so busy that by the time we're done, it will be time for dinner."

MISHA: "It works out perfectly~! Come on, Hicchan~!"

NARRATOR: "They immediately flank me and hook my arms with theirs, Shizune taking one arm and Misha taking the other. At first, we almost trip over each other. Shizune walks at a very brisk pace, and Misha has an unusually bouncy way of moving around. We get the hang of it soon enough, and I notice we're going to town by cutting through the park. It doesn't seem efficient, so I'm guessing this is the scenic route. Walking this way hinders how we can communicate with each other significantly. I can't talk to Shizune at all. Shizune and Misha are down to one handed gestures only. It feels nice, though, so I don't mind too much. When I make a crack about it to Misha, she responds with mild confusion."

MISHA: "Really, Hicchan~? Hm... If you really want Shicchan's attention, you can tell me, and then I can tap her on the shoulder for you."

HISAO: "You could just let me go and I'll do it myself. How are you going to tap her on the shoulder from over there?"

MISHA: "Like this~!"

NARRATOR: "She suddenly stops in her tracks roughly, and tries to reach behind her back and across my shoulders to get Shizune's attention. She succeeds, but only because when Misha stopped, I had to as well or we'd all fall over. Obviously, Shizune had to jerk to a halt too. The sight makes Misha let out one of her characteristic laughs, which shakes us around more, and Shizune starts flailing her free hand to get her to stop, which only causes her to laugh harder. It is pretty funny to watch her getting so flustered, and I start laughing too."

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