In Her Own Image/Transcript: Difference between revisions

|title = In Her Own Image

|prev = [[Iwanako's Regret/Transcript|Iwanako's Regret]]

|next = [[Umbrella Logic Cake/Transcript|Umbrella Logic Cake]]

NARRATOR: "I try to think what it means, what I can learn from others. I wonder if deep down, everyone is as lost as I am. Is there even one person in here who has truly found peace? I start to feel doubtful about myself once again. I can't decide whether these people are happy, unhappy, or if they've just learned to cope and now live in an unfeeling limbo like I did all spring. I escape from these feelings into the towering piles of books I carry to my room from Yuuko's sanctuary. After realizing that this will just shut me down even more, I start going to the art club's room more often, usually whenever I can."

NARRATOR: "Somewhere, the school bells ring the last call of the day. I realize I've been zoning out for who knows how long. Dazed, I sit up straighter, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. The pungent smells of linseed oil and turpentine mix in my nostrils as I draw a deep breath. I feel drowsy and lightheaded. It's already this late and a few club members left early, so it's just me, Rin, the teacher, and two other girls who are also about to leave."

<p style="text-align:center;">[[File:rin_painting_base.jpg|700px]]</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">[[File:rin_painting_foot.jpg|700px]]</p>

NARRATOR: "With a nimble move of her delicate ankle, she dips the brush into crimson paint and presses it lightly onto the canvas. A stain spreads around, as if the brush was bleeding. Her progress has slowed down to a crawl. By now I've learned that this is dangerous for her technique, as the paint must not be allowed to dry before she's finished. It occurs to me that I am literally watching paint dry. And yet somehow I'm not feeling bored, despite spacing out just now."

NARRATOR: "As the pair of girls exit the club room with a cheerful “bye-bye”, Nomiya stands up from his desk. His chair scoots back with a loud screech that breaks the harmony of this quiet afternoon. He taps a pile of papers in his hands twice against the tabletop in order to straighten them, then stretches his back."

NARRATOR: "Smiling, the teacher picks up the rest of his papers and makes his way to the door. I glance at the clock above it and then at my watch to double check. They're three minutes apart, but nevertheless the club's meeting time is over now. Rin seems intent on staying here to work on her piece while waiting for the teacher. I can't quite imagine what their one-on-one time would be like. Would they actually discuss anything? Rin is always so subdued in what she says, and when she does say something it's difficult to understand what she's talking about. Maybe Nomiya just talks endlessly like he does at club meetings, letting Rin absorb what she will from his infinite well of art knowledge, like a sunflower turning to face the glowing sun."

NARRATOR: "I shift around in my chair, then get to fetching a cup of water, brushes, colors and some paper. The sound of my footsteps invades the still afternoon air. Before starting, I try to recall what the teacher told us, an important philosophy of the medium: working with watercolors means more working with water than working with color. I try to keep that in mind, and dip my tiny sable brush into the water cup. I'm mixing yellow and blue, trying to capture the sunlit treetops outside of the window. The sun is low, so the yellows are more pronounced and everything looks darker. I still can't quite connect what I see with what my hand does with the paints, but it's a passable attempt for my level. After a while I start losing my focus and move the paper aside, deciding to watch Rin work for a while, instead. That little while stretches first into a long while, then into a really long while."

NARRATOR: "Rin paints, her entire being fully concentrated on the brush between her slender toes and the painting coming to life one stroke at a time. She seems determined and yet at the same time relaxed, effortlessly moving the brush around, never hesitating. Colors meet and part, mix and cover each other on the canvas, bending to her quiet will. I don't know anything about composition, structure or any of that stuff, but I really like Rin's paintings. I like how she looks when she paints. As usual, the silence between us compels me to speak rather than merely wait for her to open up. She might end up saying nothing at all."

<p style="text-align:center;">[[File:rin_painting_reply.jpg|700px]]</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">[[File:rin_painting_concerned.jpg|700px]]</p>

RIN: "Not really. Talking is hard. I mean, it's not hard, I'm talking even now. But saying the right things is really hard for me. No matter what, I just can't say the things I want."

RIN: "It's true. I say all kinds of things that I don't really mean all the time. And sometimes I forget words and then I use the wrong words. I even come up with new words for things that already have some. That's the worst thing. I get really nervous and everything comes out a mess and even I don't really understand what I want to say.I think there's something wrong with me that makes it like this. Remember when I said I can only think of four things at the same time?"

RIN: "It's not really four. I mean, it is four, but everything else is also there kind of in the background. Like being at an amusement park and a beehive at the same time. But that's not the point. I used to do better. Like six or seven things. I think so, at least. I feel like I'm becoming dumber."

RIN: "But it's there all the time. Stronger and deeper. Yeah, deeper is a good word. I like that word. Deeper. It's that feeling of being underwater. Maybe it's just art. The more I paint, the more words I forget. Maybe at some point I will forget how to speak completely. It feels like I'm slowly forgetting everything. Do you remember what you thought about things three or four years ago? I don't."

<p style="text-align:center;">[[File:rin_painting_faceconcerned.jpg|700px]]</p>

NARRATOR: "Rin's foot has stopped its work on the canvas and she is staring at her painting, unmoving, as if gazing at some faraway horizon. Sunlight briefly glints in the corner of her onyx eyes. Something floats up into the top layer of Rin's being and she lets out a long breath. Then she blinks and it's gone."

RIN: "Paintings stay behind. When I look at my old things, I remember what I was thinking back when I made them. They make me feel like I can be with all the past mes when I was a different me. I guess they are the proof of my existence."

NARRATOR: "She uses the exact same words Nomiya used when he spoke to us of the nature of art. I didn't think Rin was paying any attention, back then. I wonder if she was listening, or whether she had heard the same passionate speech from Nomiya before. Either way, I feel overwhelmed."

NARRATOR: "I don't call her on the joke, if it is one. Right at that moment, Nomiya returns from his meeting. He waves to us a very melodramatic hello, mildly surprised to see me here along with his pet student. Walking with a boisterous gait to his desk, he drops his papers upon it. He picks up a handkerchief and cleans his glasses with incredibly meticulous care before walking over to us. Before he is within earshot of us, Rin says something to me in a quick, quiet voice."

RIN: "Change is the scariest thing in the world to me. And I seriously don't know if I want to change into a person who could do the thing the teacher wants me to do. I don't know if I could even if I wanted to."

HISAO: "Hello."

<br />''(at the same time)''<br />

RIN: "Hello."

HISAO: "Anyway, I don't think I have much else to say, other than that you should go for it."<ref>Each selections from the three previous choice instances corresponds to one of the six possible options. So even though there are six presented, the player will only ever be presented with three (depending on what the player chose).  

<br>For example, if the player chose '''"You're amazing"''' in [[Studies in Greyscale/Transcript|Studies in Greyscale]], then '''"I feel like I'm stuck"''' in [[Things You Like/Transcript|Things You Like]], then '''"I want to be more like Rin"''' in [[Underwater and a Maple with a Name/Transcript|Underwater and a Maple with a Name]] the options shown for this choice would be ''"I think you'd be a big hit."'', ''"You'd be wasting your talents otherwise."'' and ''"You won't get a chance like this again."''.

{|class="article-table"  

| "You're amazing"

| "I think you'd be a big hit."

| "I wish I was as good as you"

| "You'd be wasting your talents otherwise."

| "It's refreshing"

| [[Things You Like/Transcript|Things You Like]]

| "Because it would be exciting."

| "I feel like I'm stuck"

| "You won't get a chance like this again."

| "I want to be more like Rin"

| [[Underwater and a Maple with a Name/Transcript|Underwater and a Maple with a Name]]

| "It isn't like you at all to hesitate like this."

| "I want to be more like Emi"

| [[Underwater and a Maple with a Name/Transcript|Underwater and a Maple with a Name]]

| "You should aim higher."

"I think you'd be a big hit."=

HISAO: "I think you'd be super popular. I mean, your paintings are really amazing. And you paint with your feet; that's really cool, too. I bet people will be amazed."

RIN: "I get it."|-|

"You'd be wasting your talents otherwise."=

NARRATOR: "I try to press her a little bit, to extract some sort of decisiveness out of her, but Nomiya decides to intervene."

NOMIYA: "Oh, it's not that bad. I agree that it's important to strike when the iron is hot, but Tezuka is still just eighteen. She'll have time and her abilities will mature. That said, there are many advantages for trying to make a break at a young age, if at all possible."

HISAO: "I mean, the teacher is probably right. You're not going to get a chance like this again. People don't get many chances in life, and you shouldn't waste any of them even if you have doubts."

HISAO: "Seriously, everyday life is so dull, you always do the same things every day, in the same way. This would be something else."|-|

"It isn't like you at all to hesitate like this."=

HISAO: "This isn't like you. You told me that people should do things they can't, just because they can. And now you're being all wishy-washy yourself about something this important."|-|

"You should aim high."=

HISAO: "I really think you should aim higher. You should take the chance. Even if you crash and burn, at least you tried. It'd be worth it just for that."

HISAO: "No. I think that you're selling yourself short if you think like that. It's cowardly."|-|

Hisao gets angry=

HISAO: "I just don't get it. Anyone else would be jumping up and down in excitement. What's the point of doing your best, being at this art club, if you don't do anything with your talent? I'm telling you, I'm going to be angry with you if you give this up."

NARRATOR: "My voice rises higher. I don't know what makes me say this. It's like I've been taken over by some force out of my control, but I really do feel angry. Images of a letter written on cute stationery flash in my mind, images of the masked faces of my parents, my doctors, images of the time I've wasted. They mix into my feelings about Rin like a torrent of molten iron. I want to continue, but Rin suddenly stands up."

NARRATOR: "She trots out of the room without anyone saying anything. I stare after her, still seething, though with the voice of rationality in the back of my head wondering if I made her angry as well. The teacher lets out an embarrassed, but extraordinarily loud laugh."

RIN: "I don't think I want to talk about this. I'm going."

NOMIYA: "Hahaha, don't worry about it. She'll be fine, I'm sure. I'll talk to her later."|-|

NOMIYA: "Now now, my boy. It's a big decision and even though I'd like Tezuka to be more decisive as well, she needs time to mull it over. Why don't we let her decide. You have good intentions, but in the end it comes down to her own feelings. Any thoughts on the subject, Tezuka? You've been quiet all afternoon."

NARRATOR: "Rin stands up and trots out of the room without anyone saying anything further."|-|

NOMIYA: "Well, that's all good, isn't it? You're a new student and we should be promoting integration into the student body and such. I can't remember all the buzzwords they spew at faculty and Yamaku Foundation meetings, but that's how it is. Tezuka isn't the most social person around these parts, either."

NOMIYA: "No, I'm sure it's fine. I'm too soft with her, even when I shouldn't. I don't really know how to handle Tezuka, she's so independent and willful. I wonder if this is what every old geezer of an art teacher who got his hands on a young and fiery prodigy felt like."

NOMIYA: "I sometimes stay here after hours just to look at Tezuka's paintings. She's really just prodigious, and at such a young age. I get shivers just thinking of what she could become with a few more years of refinement. You asked what makes an artist, remember? This is it. They take a piece of the world and reshape it in their own image. Metaphorically, of course. Looking at her makes you wonder what the world looks like through her eyes. It's a wonderful thing, to be young and full of passion, the most extraordinary time of your life. You would do well to remember that, Nakai."

NOMIYA: "It's so silly. People always ask artists “Where do you get your ideas?” as if ideas were something sold at the market for pocket change. You can't explain inspiration. For people like Tezuka, it's like breathing. It's an instinct. I've met maybe one or two with the same kind of raw potential. But no amount of potential will amount to anything if one doesn't work to realize it. It's practice, technique, skill. Draw for an hour every day for a few years and even the most hopeless case becomes a passable artist. Tezuka is not brilliant because she was born with a natural talent for this kind of thing. She's brilliant because she works harder than anyone, ever since she learned to hold a pen, most likely. And all of it with her feet, no less. Absolutely phenomenal."

NOMIYA: "Oh, I don't. Not any more. I became an art teacher only after my career in that field came to an end. Now I just pass on knowledge to the next generation."

NARRATOR: "The way Nomiya answers is curious, both giving and withholding information. I feel like asking more, but he cuts in before I get the chance."

NARRATOR: "I quickly collect my stuff and step out into the deserted hallway, leaving the teacher alone with his musings. The weekend will be here soon. It's amazing how fast time flies here. I promised Emi I'd join her for the celebration of her triumph at the track meet last week. That should be plenty of fun."

<p style="text-align:center;">'''Next Scene: [[Umbrella Logic Cake/Transcript|Umbrella Logic Cake]]'''</p>