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Evan and Pardo, two sensible men of muscle, were chatting it up at a local Miami pizza parlor. The two grown men, one a family man, the other an incredibly competent man of justice, were both sensibly discussing politics and current affairs.<br />
{{Infobox transcript
<br />
|characters=*[[Hisao Nakai]]
Pardo blared at Evan, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ILLEGALLY EXPORTED A BUNCH OF DISGUSTING HUSBANDO PILLOWS OF ME"<br />
*[[Kenji Setou]] (first appearance)
<br />
|next = [[Smalltalk/Transcript|Smalltalk]]
Evan then put his hand on Pardo's shoulder, "Look" assured Evan in a calm voice, "Many female otakus-"<br />
|prev = [[In the Nursery/Transcript|In the Nursery]]
<br />
|title = Nobody's Room}}
Pardo then bursted once again, "WHAT THE FUCK IS AN OTAKU!?!?!?"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "I end up standing in front of the main building and the auxiliary building, although to my eyes, they still look one and the same. It's the first real look I get at the other students, so I watch people coming out of the school, going towards the gate or the dorms. Everyone seems to know where they are going. And I still keep thinking that most of them don't look too special for being students at a special school. Then again, neither do I. Does that make me one of them? One of us?"
Evan sighed a deep breath and explained, "They are Japanese basement dweller that play erotic games, watch anime, read manga, sell there souls to the companies that produce merchandise for their favorite franchises, etc. You know, totally inert individuals who are little use to society."<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "..."
Pardo then whispered under his breath, "Yeah..useless to society...like Jacket and Jacket Jack-offs"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "I should go somewhere too, to prevent me from getting lost. It's around dinnertime, but I feel tired instead of hungry. The weariness in me only grows as I trudge towards the dorms, set a little way apart from the main building complex. There is a garden of sorts between the school and the dorms; shrubbery, flowers and that overbearing smell of fresh cut grass that fills the atmosphere. It dawns on my tired mind that the smell feels novel because I haven't been outside at all for so long.
Evan then continued, "Many female otakus in Japa-"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "The dorm building is big and made of red brick. Like the others, it feels way too pompous for what it is, so I push forward, going inside. It takes more time than necessary to fish out the key I was given from my pocket."
"Hold up", interrupted Detective Pardo, "You are saying that there are FEMALES who do that too?"<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "Room one-one-nine..."
"Yes", said Evan again, "Now please let me continue"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "Despite the ornate exterior, the inside of the dorm is fairly new, functional, and boring. Just like in the main building, the halls and doors are wide to accommodate wheelchairs. The same goes for the elevators at the ends of the hallways. I poke my head around the corner of the common room door. Inside a few students are watching the television. One nods and gives a quick 'hello' before turning back to the TV. Seems that only the girls around here are sociable. I suppose that's perfectly fine with me. I climb the stairs to the upper floor."
Pardo then whispered to himself again, "They better be cute and not landwhales"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "Here, small corridors branch off from the main hallway. Each of these minor halls seems to have a toilet and shower, as well as four rooms. About halfway down the hall, I spy room 119. The name plates on the rooms adjacent to mine are blank. I guess there are just two of us here. Light shines from below the door of room 117, so I knock lightly."
As Evan continued "Many female otakus in Japan are deprived of your thick foreskin, Manny. Which is why there is a huge demand. The Columbian mafia knew they could make a ton of money by selling husbando pillows for them to call their 'onii-chan' and cuddle every night. Women have needs, Pardo, but I doubt you understand that."<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "Hello, is anyone home?"
Meanwhile a fat man in a bear mask and vest walked in. After he had been friendzoned by his friend who could roll dodge, he was in an awkward trance with an odd sense of foreboding and disgust. He went up to the pizza man to request a pizza."<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "From inside, I hear a few movements, then the clicking of way more locks than I thought these doors had. After a moment the door squeaks open. A bespectacled boy is standing in the doorway. He is looking at me very intently through his extremely thick eyeglasses."
Pardo then yelled in anger at the top of his lungs while slamming his fist on the table. "THOSE DAMNED COLUMBIANS, I AM GOING TO WIPE THEM ALL OUT. FOR THEIR SAKE, THOSE GIRLS BUYING THESE BETTER BE CUTE AND HAVE GOOD GENES"<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "Who is it?"
Mark, Evan, and the pizza guy both stared at Pardo in silence.<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "Blind? No, at least not completely, why would he have eyeglasses if he was? He leans closer to me until our noses are almost touching. His breath stinks of garlic."
"Yo, Mark~" squealed Corey, "You coming with that pizza, or what?"<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "Hisao Nakai... I'm moving into the next room. I thought I should introduce my..."
"C-c-c-coming" replied Mark like the thin skinned fucker he was, wobbling over to the van.<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "His face suddenly brightens in realization, and he stands back upright, thrusting his hand out in a smiling greeting, almost straight to my diaphragm."
Pardo was too frustrated, the Columbians were on a higher priority list than those Jacket Jack-offs, so he had to save his strength.<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "Oh, 'sup dude? The name's Kenji."
Pardo then mumbled, "To think, they even installed thick skinned grips onto the crouch as a dildo for them, those Columbians should really be praying that their clients are cute if they are going to sell me out as a sex toy for basement dwellers."<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "Ah, hi."
"I-if it makes you feel better, Manny, not all of the clients might be girls." stumbled Evan.<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "I take Kenji's sweaty hand and shake it, still a little rattled by the sudden change of attitude and vehement welcome."
Pardo then glared at Evan, "No, Evan" he stated, "That doesn't make me feel better at all."<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "There were some suspicious-looking people going in and out of your room earlier."
Pardo then queried Evan, "Look, you say know alot about women? Then tell me, why did your wife and kids leave you?"<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "It was probably my parents."
"Manny" said Evan in shock, "Don't bring up something so serious at a time like this"<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "Your parents? You sure? 'Cause they could've been some other people, too. You can't judge a book by its cover."
"Look, Evan", Pardo said in a voice that meant business, "Was it really a good idea to write about Jacket and his Jacket Jack-offs?"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "His out-of-place proverb is left hanging between us awkwardly as I try to think of some way to respond."
Evan counter argued "But, Manny...he got a movie"<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "I'd say the chances are high enough."
Pardo replied calmly "Yeah, a movie. A movie that had an leading actor kill children and manage to get murdered in the end. Did you even see the controversies? Fox had enough content to resell for weeks."<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "He shudders and makes some exaggerated hand gestures."
"B-b-but, Manny" Evan muttered in a weak voice, "He was involved in a huge conspiracy..."<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "You're a brave man, Hisao. Me, I don't think I could trust the chances. The only one I trust is myself."
"Big conspiracy?" said Pardo in a cool voice, "All there was to it was that some racists were hiring thugs to kill Russians, that is it."<br />
 
<br />
HISAO: "Does that mean I shouldn't get to know you, either?"
"Manny, look" replied Evan, "Jacket is the most dangerous serial killer in Miami and has his own fanbase."<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "He thinks about this for a while."
Pardo then held his face in his hands, "Look, Evan, you realize the mysterious shadow killer, the Miami Mutilator, already has outdone that idiotic Rooster. Not to mention his fans consist of an obese pizza junkie, an incestuous gorelover (with good genes), a pussy of a mechanic, a guy who seems to live off of raw meat and steroids, and a girl with the disability to climb through windows.<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "A wise decision. Damn, you are smarter than you look. Probably. What do you look like? I hope not smart."
"Uh" admitted Evan in defeat, "Pardo, you're right. But what do I do? I have been spending all this time on the book, how will I be able to write about your handsome efforts to stop the fearsome Miami Mutilator?"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "He squints his eyes and leans closer again, but I lean backwards to dodge it."
"Don't worry", said Pardo in a heroic tone, he then placed a police file with indepth evidence of the Miami Mutilator.<br />
 
<br />
KENJI: "Never mind, it doesn't matter."
"I don't know" said Evan in a hesitant voice, "You could get fired for this."<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "With that, he turns, fumbles around for a moment in search of the door handle and shuts the door behind him. I slide the key into the lock of the door marked 119."
Pardo, like the saint he is, boldy announced to Evan, "Don't worry, that is what friends are for. This one is on the house. Just promise me you'll never say that I owe you one ever again."<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "Bleak beige walls, white linen, a desk made of some type of light wood. Ugly curtains. It's no one's room; impersonal, like my hospital room was. My bags are sitting at the foot of my bed, looking a lot emptier than they did this morning. The closet is sitting open, stocked with my clothes. Also, it seems that there are a number of school uniforms hanging there as well. A note is pinned to the sleeve of one of the shirts."
"But, Manny, how can you really stop this Miami Mutilator perp by yourself?" said Evan like the confused idiot he was.<br />
 
<br />
{{Letter}}
Pardo then boldly bolstered "Evan, I was born with thick skin"<br />
Hi Hicchan. We've unpacked your things and made your bed.
<br />
They said that if these don't fit then you should go to the office tomorrow.
"And a thick foreskin?" Evan chortled<br />
If you have any problems, you can always call us.
<br />
<nowiki>*</nowiki>POW*<br />
Love, Mom and Dad
<br />
{{Letter end}}
"Uh, Detective Pardo, why is there a dead man at the pizza parlor?"<br />
 
<br />
NARRATION: "Well, at least I don't have to worry about unpacking. I kind of hoped I would have, then there would be something to do. It's still too early. I put the note down on the desktop and lie down on the bed, feeling drained. Lying there makes me want to read something, but I have nothing with me. I wonder if the hospital conditioned me for wanting to read whenever I have nothing to do. The restless urge just keeps growing until I have to stand up. Maybe it's stress or something. I was pretty nervous about it before coming and for the entire day today too. I still am, I think. Damn, I have to distract myself somehow, so I won't be this unnatural all the time. Tomorrow, I'll go borrow some books from the library. Yeah, I'll do that. But for now..."
"He was coming at me, sir."
 
NARRATION: "The bottles of medications neatly arranged on my night table catch my eye. I pick up one and shake it just to hear the contents rattle inside, and then read the glued-on pharmacy label."
{{Letter}}
<pre>Hisao Nakai
 
Two tablets daily to stay alive</pre>
{{Letter end}}
 
NARRATION: "It doesn't really say that, but it could just as well. It's kinda twisted, having your life depend on chemicals like this. I resent it a little, but what choice do I have? With a sigh, I begin my new daily ritual of taking the right number of pills from each bottle, being careful to check the correct dosages."
 
NARRATION: "..."
 
NARRATION: "I lie down again, feeling hollow and uncertain, and after that I keep staring at the blank, unfamiliar ceiling for a long time. It doesn't start looking any more familiar, not even after darkness falls and long shadows draw across my room like fingers. The sheets feel slightly more comfortable, warm and nest-like against the chill that passes for room temperature here. Soon the lighter shade of darkness that is the ceiling looks like every ceiling does at night, and it becomes the only thing I recognize any more. The night beckons me to sleep, and I feel the coldness of unfamiliarity and fear creeping up my spine once again. I keep drifting further away from the world I knew."
 
<p style="text-align: center;">'''END OF MONDAY'''</p>
 
<p style="text-align: center;">'''Next Scene: [[Smalltalk/Transcript|Smalltalk]]'''</p>
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Act 1 Transcripts]]
[[Category:Act 1 Transcripts]]
[[Category:Kenji Scenes]]
[[Category:Monday]]
[[Category:Hisao Scenes]]
[[Category:Act 1 - Life Expectancy]]
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