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Lilly and Hanako quickly go about the business of making lunch.
Galaxy Films, the makers of Midnight Animal, more controversial than any celebrity scandal (Which is saying alot), were frankly in a pickle. Their star actor went from family friendly hero to demented serial killer. The movie wasn't so popular with Jacket Jack-offs because it didn't portray Jacket as a man who built houses for the crippled and poor. And frankly, quoted by Pardo, "Who wants to watch a movie about the Jacket Jack-off when you can have a grip on my thick foreskin?", which is all very true.


Before I can even open my small bag of food, Lilly's busying herself with her thermos and teabags as Hanako is setting out both their lunchboxes.
Rouven Blankenfield, director on Midnight Animal, needed 'redemption'.


Hisao
"Yo, hooker, I'm a wreck, you accidentally killed my star actor, and Midnight Animal was a total flop."
"So, is this what you meant by coming here almost every day?"


Lilly
"Director Blankenfield, I have an actual name."
"Yes, Hanako and I usually have lunch here. It suits both of us, so we ended up using this room regularly."


After seeing Hanako's reactions to me over the past couple of days, I can understand why that is a boon. That, and Lilly being able to get some quiet away from her class as well.
"Well, too bad missy, Martin had an ACTUAL life."


I take my seat last, after Lilly's poured the tea for us and sits down.
'Hooker' then broke into tears, "Oh, Rouven, it was just that he always raped me...."


The more time I spend with these two girls, the more I think they're a perfect foil to Misha and Shizune.
"Who the hell cares? We got banned in Austrailia for that scene, just one little rape and you cry like a little bitch, get a grip, woman."


Even without a voice, Shizune is direct and brash, and Misha seems to get along with everyone. On the other hand, Lilly is soft-spoken and relaxed while Hanako seems to be the shyest girl I've ever met.
Pardo overheard this conversation, with his thick skinned ears he was born with. As a man of justice and opportunity, he knew the public would adore his struggle of fighting the Miami Mutilator while raising public concern for that dastardly fiend.


Lilly
"Excuse me, sir. I couldn't help but over hear your conversation. If I could make a suggestion..."
"So, how are you faring in Yamaku, Hisao? You seemed a bit flustered before."


Hisao
With Pardo's incredible diction and eloquent speech, the director and 'hooker' were down to tears, they knew the case of the Miami Mutilator would be a great story. One where the protagonist was a hero, and not a furry freak who bangs a chick in a horse mask. 
"Apart from getting lost every now and again, and being crash-tackled outside my classroom? Fine I guess..."


Hanako
SCENE 12 OF "MANNY PARDO, LOOSE CANNON COP WHO DON'T PLAY BY NOBODY'S RULES":
"You... you looked pretty hurt before. Are you really... okay?"


For a brief moment, I consider telling Hanako and Lilly about my condition but then, I hold it back.
"Oh, do you know what happens to miserable thugs like you?"


I can't tell why, but for some reason I feel uncomfortable talking about it to these relative strangers, even if they have been pretty friendly.
"OH GOD, HELP ME!!! THEY ABDUCTED ME, MARK, COREY, YOU STILL BREATHING? WHERE ARE YOU ALEX AND ASH? I CAN DEAL WITH YOUR INCEST, JUST PLEASE, ANYONE ELSE, NOT HIM!!!" welped Tony like a little girl (the fucking retard is too autistic to hold guns too).


Hisao
<nowiki>*</nowiki>CUT*
"Yeah, it's nothing. I was just a bit startled."


Judging from the two girls' expressions, I don't think that they're buying it. But, in what I assume is their way of respecting my privacy, they don't press the matter.
The director interupted, "Look, Tony, for the last time, show some goddamn respect. You are working with detective Pardo here, he is doing alot just to put food on our tables, so at least get into your role."


I guess that is one of the unwritten rules around here; "don't ask." Even if people's conditions are obvious, like Hanako's, there's still bound to be a story involved.
"WHAT!?!?!" blared Tony, "YOU GUYS FUCKING KIDNAPPED ME AND KILLED MY FRIENDS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'GET IN ROLE', IS THAT A FUCKING CAMERA?!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING RECORDING THIS?"


Everyone has things that they don't feel comfortable speaking about, and I think everyone here recognizes that.
The director sighed, "Okay", he stated, "Take two, aaaaand ACTION!"


Hisao
"Do you know what happens to thugs like you?"
"So, uh... how long have you been in this school? You both seem to know your way around pretty well."


Lilly
"Uh...uh....I surrender! Don't hurt me, man. Please, I wasn't with those jack-offs, don't do this. The Miami Mutilator is so much better to w-worship, we should've been Mutilator munchkins instead of Jacket J-Jack-offs."
"Hmm... well, I've been here since the start of high school, but only moved into the dormitories a year ago."


Lilly
"Ggrrrrr. YOU JUST WANT YOUR 15 MINUTES OF FAME"
"Hanako joined at the start of high school as well, and moved to the dormitories when she did, if memory serves me right."


Hanako
<nowiki>*</nowiki>POW*
"That's right. Since... high school."


Hisao
"So you've known each other since then?"


Lilly
"Since I moved, yes. Hanako lives next door to me, so it's only natural, right?"


Hanako
"AAAAND CUT" bellowed the director in a satisfied tone, "Golden work people! Uh, cleaning crew, clean up on scene 12 in the closet area of the scene, okay? Thanks."
"R-right."


Hisao
"Yeah, of course."


Living next to someone is probably reason enough to befriend them, though I'm guessing that Lilly's blindness played a part in it as well.
Pardo was at the bar with director Blankenfield, critics were already giving the movie high rankings without having seen it.


I can't imagine Hanako easily making friends with someone who has to deliberately avoid looking at her scars.
"11/10, HAVE MY NEWBORN CHILDREN" -MIAMI TIMES


With the immediate conversation dried up, we start to eat our lunch.


It isn't long before the bells are signaling the end of the break. Like me, the girls pack up their lunches as efficiently as they set them out.
"112/2, WAS MADE WITH THICK SKIN" -FLORIDA GAZETTE


Lilly
"-11/0.1989. TOO HANDSOME FOR ME." - Th3 M14M1 MUT1L4T0R
"I guess I'd better be off. Are you going to go with Hisao, Hanako?"


Hanako looks up at me, and for a second I can see that she is considering skipping class, maybe just to avoid walking to the classroom with me.
Pardo walked into the director's office, things have been slow, especially for the final scene, called "Caught". And also Pardo had some urgent questions to ask the director.


Hanako
Pardo read the script and saw the horror of it all. THEY MADE HIM THE MIAMI MUTILATOR!!! This was obviously some sort of media garbage made by Columbian communists to defame him. Apparently he was supposed to walk into his apartment to find a puppet, kill his fellow lawmen, and end up dying. He knew what happened to Martin Brown, this was a setup! And worst of all, it played Slum Lord by Mega Drive, not something fitting of Pardo's status, like Bloodline - Scattle, or Technoir - Perturbator (Feat. Noir Deco. But honestly who gives a fuck about that guy, am I right?).
"Y-yes."


I don't know what to think of it. Hanako really is delicate to the point of breaking if looked at in the wrong way. It makes me a bit nervous too, but I push the feeling aside, trying to be as natural as I can.
The director came in, and said in a mellow tone. "Oh, Pardo.", he said in a calm voice, "I wasn't expecting you here."


Hisao
"I have some....questions." Pardo said in a serious tone.
"We should hurry then. Class has already started by the sound of it."


Lilly gives a nod of farewell as she bends down to take her cane, Hanako and I filing out before her.
Pardo tied up the director and put him near a lamp light, it was time for Detective Pardo to use his skillful and highly competent interrogation skills.


We walk quickly down the empty halls to our respective classes.
Pardo pointed his trusty revolver at the director, "Look, first question," said Pardo, "Why am I the Miami Mutilator in this movie?"


As we reach the door to Lilly's 3-2 classroom, she turns towards me.
The director then squirmed and answered "To attract more views of course, everyone loves a twist in the end, even if it kills off the main character."


Lilly
"That sounds pretty damn stupid if you ask me," stated Pardo, "Whoever would do something like that must really like screwing with their fanbase and love delaying projects. Now, for question two, why a puppet?"
"Hisao, thank you for sharing lunch with us today."


Hisao
"Simple really," the director replied smugly, "People are scared of puppets and it is used to represent your guilt as the Miami Mutilator."
"My pleasure, Lilly."


And with that, we part ways; Lilly entering her classroom and leaving Hanako and I to make off to our own. She's still looking like she wants to run away.
"Third question," bellowed Pardo, "Is that last scene supposed to actually kill me? Like you did with Martin Brown?"


Hisao
"For the last time, I have to keep repeating this to everyone? 'Hooker' killed him on accident, nothing more, we made sure to establish a no lead polic, which is why everyone in the company switched to graphite pencils. Graphite is non-toxic and more environmently safe too." 
"So, do you really want to go back to class now?"


Hanako
Pardo then pulled up his sleeves, it was time for the serious questions.
"Y-yes."


Hisao
"Okay, the gloves come off now," Pardo said grimly, "Next question-"
"Okay then."


I feel like I should say something more to her, but it's hard to come up with anything that would be appropriate and safe enough.
"I really have to go now, Pardo, I have a hot date coming up-"


And Lilly was right; the more time we spend out here, the more explaining we have to do.
Pardo then pointed his gun towards the director, "I have your hot date right here if you are in such a hurry"


I open the rear door to the class, and walk in.
The director sighed and nodded, "Okay, lay it on me"


The teacher looks up at me, and opens his mouth to say something.
"Next question, why Mega Drive? Why not Perturbator or Scattle?"


However, as Hanako follows me in and closes the door, he simply nods to us and continues his lecture.
"Mega Drive is the cool hip thing these days, no one wants Perturbator and Scattle anymore, which is why we reduced their songs heavily for the movie in favor of more Mega Drive."


This is the third time that Hanako has had her truancy practically ignored. There's definitely something going on here.
"You have poor taste in music and better change that" Pardo said, clicking his finger right over the trigger.


We make our way to our seats, and I notice that Misha and Shizune are both missing as well.
"I understand" admitted the director


I wonder if it is some form of informal agreement with the staff, or if it's a "perk" afforded to the unique students of this school?
"Now, for the main questions. Why the fuck are you guys printing pictures of me on pillows? In fact, why are there Japanese subtitles for this movie? And why is it in some scenes of mine there are roses all over the screens border? In fact, who is the damned demograph of this sick flim?"


Trying to make as little disturbance as I can, I extract the relevant textbooks from my bag and start catching up.
"Female o-otakus", mumbled the director


The class goes on quietly.
"English", Pardo demanded


'''[Go to [[It Builds Character/Transcripts|It Builds Character]]]'''
"Little girls in Japan who spend their entire days masturbating to native Japanese comics of homosexual men engaging in intercourse."
[[Category:Transcripts]]
 
<nowiki>*</nowiki>POW*
 
 
"Rouven Blankenfield found dead in cable wires, Detective Pardo: The Movie cancelled."
 
"Uh, detective Pardo, why'd you kill poor Rouven?"
 
"He was coming at me, sir. (God, sometimes I hate this city)"[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Act 1 Transcripts]]
[[Category:Act 1 Transcripts]]

Revision as of 08:44, 11 August 2015

Galaxy Films, the makers of Midnight Animal, more controversial than any celebrity scandal (Which is saying alot), were frankly in a pickle. Their star actor went from family friendly hero to demented serial killer. The movie wasn't so popular with Jacket Jack-offs because it didn't portray Jacket as a man who built houses for the crippled and poor. And frankly, quoted by Pardo, "Who wants to watch a movie about the Jacket Jack-off when you can have a grip on my thick foreskin?", which is all very true.

Rouven Blankenfield, director on Midnight Animal, needed 'redemption'.

"Yo, hooker, I'm a wreck, you accidentally killed my star actor, and Midnight Animal was a total flop."

"Director Blankenfield, I have an actual name."

"Well, too bad missy, Martin had an ACTUAL life."

'Hooker' then broke into tears, "Oh, Rouven, it was just that he always raped me...."

"Who the hell cares? We got banned in Austrailia for that scene, just one little rape and you cry like a little bitch, get a grip, woman."

Pardo overheard this conversation, with his thick skinned ears he was born with. As a man of justice and opportunity, he knew the public would adore his struggle of fighting the Miami Mutilator while raising public concern for that dastardly fiend.

"Excuse me, sir. I couldn't help but over hear your conversation. If I could make a suggestion..."

With Pardo's incredible diction and eloquent speech, the director and 'hooker' were down to tears, they knew the case of the Miami Mutilator would be a great story. One where the protagonist was a hero, and not a furry freak who bangs a chick in a horse mask. 

SCENE 12 OF "MANNY PARDO, LOOSE CANNON COP WHO DON'T PLAY BY NOBODY'S RULES":

"Oh, do you know what happens to miserable thugs like you?"

"OH GOD, HELP ME!!! THEY ABDUCTED ME, MARK, COREY, YOU STILL BREATHING? WHERE ARE YOU ALEX AND ASH? I CAN DEAL WITH YOUR INCEST, JUST PLEASE, ANYONE ELSE, NOT HIM!!!" welped Tony like a little girl (the fucking retard is too autistic to hold guns too).

*CUT*

The director interupted, "Look, Tony, for the last time, show some goddamn respect. You are working with detective Pardo here, he is doing alot just to put food on our tables, so at least get into your role."

"WHAT!?!?!" blared Tony, "YOU GUYS FUCKING KIDNAPPED ME AND KILLED MY FRIENDS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'GET IN ROLE', IS THAT A FUCKING CAMERA?!?!? ARE YOU FUCKING RECORDING THIS?"

The director sighed, "Okay", he stated, "Take two, aaaaand ACTION!"

"Do you know what happens to thugs like you?"

"Uh...uh....I surrender! Don't hurt me, man. Please, I wasn't with those jack-offs, don't do this. The Miami Mutilator is so much better to w-worship, we should've been Mutilator munchkins instead of Jacket J-Jack-offs."

"Ggrrrrr. YOU JUST WANT YOUR 15 MINUTES OF FAME"

*POW*


"AAAAND CUT" bellowed the director in a satisfied tone, "Golden work people! Uh, cleaning crew, clean up on scene 12 in the closet area of the scene, okay? Thanks."


Pardo was at the bar with director Blankenfield, critics were already giving the movie high rankings without having seen it.

"11/10, HAVE MY NEWBORN CHILDREN" -MIAMI TIMES


"112/2, WAS MADE WITH THICK SKIN" -FLORIDA GAZETTE

"-11/0.1989. TOO HANDSOME FOR ME." - Th3 M14M1 MUT1L4T0R

Pardo walked into the director's office, things have been slow, especially for the final scene, called "Caught". And also Pardo had some urgent questions to ask the director.

Pardo read the script and saw the horror of it all. THEY MADE HIM THE MIAMI MUTILATOR!!! This was obviously some sort of media garbage made by Columbian communists to defame him. Apparently he was supposed to walk into his apartment to find a puppet, kill his fellow lawmen, and end up dying. He knew what happened to Martin Brown, this was a setup! And worst of all, it played Slum Lord by Mega Drive, not something fitting of Pardo's status, like Bloodline - Scattle, or Technoir - Perturbator (Feat. Noir Deco. But honestly who gives a fuck about that guy, am I right?).

The director came in, and said in a mellow tone. "Oh, Pardo.", he said in a calm voice, "I wasn't expecting you here."

"I have some....questions." Pardo said in a serious tone.

Pardo tied up the director and put him near a lamp light, it was time for Detective Pardo to use his skillful and highly competent interrogation skills.

Pardo pointed his trusty revolver at the director, "Look, first question," said Pardo, "Why am I the Miami Mutilator in this movie?"

The director then squirmed and answered "To attract more views of course, everyone loves a twist in the end, even if it kills off the main character."

"That sounds pretty damn stupid if you ask me," stated Pardo, "Whoever would do something like that must really like screwing with their fanbase and love delaying projects. Now, for question two, why a puppet?"

"Simple really," the director replied smugly, "People are scared of puppets and it is used to represent your guilt as the Miami Mutilator."

"Third question," bellowed Pardo, "Is that last scene supposed to actually kill me? Like you did with Martin Brown?"

"For the last time, I have to keep repeating this to everyone? 'Hooker' killed him on accident, nothing more, we made sure to establish a no lead polic, which is why everyone in the company switched to graphite pencils. Graphite is non-toxic and more environmently safe too." 

Pardo then pulled up his sleeves, it was time for the serious questions.

"Okay, the gloves come off now," Pardo said grimly, "Next question-"

"I really have to go now, Pardo, I have a hot date coming up-"

Pardo then pointed his gun towards the director, "I have your hot date right here if you are in such a hurry"

The director sighed and nodded, "Okay, lay it on me"

"Next question, why Mega Drive? Why not Perturbator or Scattle?"

"Mega Drive is the cool hip thing these days, no one wants Perturbator and Scattle anymore, which is why we reduced their songs heavily for the movie in favor of more Mega Drive."

"You have poor taste in music and better change that" Pardo said, clicking his finger right over the trigger.

"I understand" admitted the director

"Now, for the main questions. Why the fuck are you guys printing pictures of me on pillows? In fact, why are there Japanese subtitles for this movie? And why is it in some scenes of mine there are roses all over the screens border? In fact, who is the damned demograph of this sick flim?"

"Female o-otakus", mumbled the director

"English", Pardo demanded

"Little girls in Japan who spend their entire days masturbating to native Japanese comics of homosexual men engaging in intercourse."

*POW*


"Rouven Blankenfield found dead in cable wires, Detective Pardo: The Movie cancelled."

"Uh, detective Pardo, why'd you kill poor Rouven?"

"He was coming at me, sir. (God, sometimes I hate this city)"

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