Debate Expresses Doubt/Transcript: Difference between revisions

}}NARRATOR: "The morning comes too soon, on the heels of a sleepless night. My god, is this how Emi's been spending her nights? Staring at the wall, or ceiling. Trying to stop thinking about whatever it is. Her, in my case. That clenched feeling in my gut is still there. “I can't rely on you.” Words spoken so casually. Almost like she were teasing me. Or chastising me for suggesting the earth were flat. “That's how it's got to be,” huh? The way it's got to be sucks. I'm feeling so miserable that I very nearly decide to skip the run. But that would be stupid. It's not something I should do just to see her. I mean, it was originally. But it's something more now. I've started to enjoy the running itself. There are worse ways to get the blood flowing. Never thought I'd say it after that first week or so, but-"

NARRATOR: "I feel a lot better after a run. Like no matter what else I do today, I've at least done that one thing. Wakes me up, too. And she herself said that running always clears her mind. Maybe it'll help clear mine. I hope so. The morning is cool and clear, if a bit humid. Summer's making itself known, it seems. Emi's already stretching out when I arrive, and greets me with a smile and a wave."

EMI: "I wanted to say thanks. I actually managed to get some sleep for the first time in a while. And I think it's because of our talk. So thanks."

NARRATOR: "Wait, what? How could she sleep better after our chat? She basically told me that she wouldn't get any closer to me. And that let her sleep well? I don't mean to be crude, but what the fuck? Emi either doesn't notice my bafflement or chooses not to notice. No telling with her anymore."

NARRATOR: "The venom that threatens to drip into my voice is controlled, for now. But I think I'd better start running now, before I do anything stupid. Emi seems equally willing to get started, and before long we're darting around the track. I can tell she feels more relaxed. Her running has gone back to the more graceful movements I remember from first watching her. It's a stark contrast to the almost brutal way she's been hurling herself around the track these past few days. Our talk really does seem to have helped her. A pity it couldn't help me."

NARRATOR: "Man, remember when I used to be so out of shape that even thinking was hard? Guess those days are gone. At least for the first couple of laps. Annoyed at the lack of success I'm having with clearing my head, I increase the pace. Ah, there's the burning sensation in my legs. The breaths coming ragged in my chest, the pounding of my heart. Which I still need to be careful about. But it does seem to have gotten stronger; I can feel it pumping blood through my veins. The sound thrums in my ears, but instead of being panicked as I was that day in the snow, I'm instead filled with elation."

NARRATOR: "Yes, it's working! My heart, that fatal flaw that landed me here, has improved. I'm able to keep going now, and maybe one day I'll be able to stop worrying as much. Right now, it doesn't matter that I have no idea what to do about Emi and I. All that matters is that my arms and legs continue to pump in concert with one another. Nothing else. As I hit the final stretch, it seems like Emi wasn't lying. Running really does help, though not as much as I'd hope. I do feel better, and as I walk a few laps to cool down I begin to see last night in a slightly less emotional light. Emi wants me to stay distant from her. I can't bring myself to do so. There's got to be a way around this, some kind of middle ground I can reach. Not sure what that middle ground is, though. Damn. And here I was almost feeling optimistic."

NARRATOR: "Hmph. Nice run. That's all I can hope for now, isn't it? Congratulations, Hisao. You're pathetic. I gotta change my attitude."

NARRATOR: "And yet I just keep saying things that I don't mean. Any second now I'll be as good at hiding my problems as Emi is."

NARRATOR: "I can't get myself to calm down the whole time. Every time it feels like I've gotten over what happened last night, Emi does something or says something that shows affection and I'm back to the beginning. That image of her throwing an arm over her eyes to end the conversation haunts me. It was like the final twist of the knife that left me feeling bereft of any hope that Emi and I could be more than what we are. And what are we at this point? Little more than friends who happen to fuck."

NARRATOR: "Woah, getting a little crass there, Hisao. Tone it down, it might not be as bad as you think. And really it's not like you don't enjoy the time you spend with her. Said so yourself the other day. You very nearly didn't even bring anything up with her, just were gonna hop on in there and let it ride, weren't you? With this running through my head, I find myself in the nurse's office still brooding as he checks out Emi. Emi comes bounding out of the door, gives me a kiss, and darts off to shower, I assume. Meanwhile, the nurse beckons me into his office to give me the ritual once-over."

HISAO: "Nah. I even pushed it a little harder today than I have in the past and I seemed able to handle it."

NARRATOR: "At the mention of Emi's name, I can't help but frown unhappily in spite of my efforts at control. The nurse raises an eyebrow."

NURSE: "Well, now. This is new, don't you think? Last I checked, your usual response to Emi's name was a grin, not a frown. What exactly happened between you two? Because Emi doesn't seem to be in on it, whatever it is. She looked more relaxed than I've seen her in weeks, which is unusual for this time of year."

HISAO: "“For this time of year.” I keep trying to find out what's been bothering her, but she clams as soon as I broach the subject. Then last night, she said—"

HISAO: "Er, more or less. How did you know?"

NURSE: "Hisao, I'm the nurse. It's my job to know these things. Plus I've known Emi for long enough to know that she'd try to do something like this. It's just like her."

NURSE: "Look, you mind if I give you some advice?"<ref>If Hisao talked to Mutou in [[Phantom Pain/Transcript|Phantom Pain]], then the player gets to make this choice. If Hisao didn't talk to Mutou, it automatically invokes "Don't worry, I can handle it".</ref>

 

NURSE: "Look, here's the deal: Emi is...stubborn. You should know that by now, and if you don't know that by now then you're pretty unobservant. But I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, here."

NURSE: "Anyway, if she's decided that she doesn't want to talk about what happened, then she's not going to talk about what's happened. Has she said anything about what's been bothering her? Even a hint?"

NURSE: "Really? You're making progress, then. That's good. Well, I guess I can fill you in on this without violating my strict non-interference policy when it comes to Emi making stupid decisions. The accident's anniversary is soon. She gets depressed around this time, because it was a pretty traumatic event, considering what she lost."

NURSE: "Whoop! Nope, not going there. You'll have to ask someone else about that, because that's a whole can of worms I'm not about to open. If Emi wants you to know, she'll tell you in her own time. You've just got to be patient, that's all."

NURSE: "Because you're good for her. She trusts you, even if you don't think she does. And you've got the best chance out of anyone at this school right now to help her through the anniversary. She won't accept my help. But she might accept yours if you don't screw it up. So don't screw it up, got it?"|-|

"Don't worry, I can handle it."=

NURSE: "Just shagging your boyfriend, Emi. Give us a second to get our pants back on."

HISAO: "Hey, can we...leave me out of this? Anyway, what's up Emi? Forget something?"

HISAO: "Oh? What's that?"

NURSE: "Well of course I accept."

HISAO: "I'd love to go, thanks Emi."