Bundle of Hisao/Transcript: Difference between revisions
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!Narration | !Narration | ||
|''It's been four months since my heart attack.'' <br /> | |''It's been four months since my heart attack.''<br /> | ||
''In that whole time, I can probably count the times I've left this hospital room unsupervised on one hand.'' <br /> | ''In that whole time, I can probably count the times I've left this hospital room unsupervised on one hand.''<br /> | ||
''Four months is a pretty long time when you're left alone with your thoughts. So, I've had plenty of time to come to terms with my situation.'' <br /> | ''Four months is a pretty long time when you're left alone with your thoughts. So, I've had plenty of time to come to terms with my situation.''<br /> | ||
''Arrhythmia.'' <br /> | ''Arrhythmia.''<br /> | ||
''A strange word. A foreign, alien one. One that you don't want to be in the same room with.'' <br /> | ''A strange word. A foreign, alien one. One that you don't want to be in the same room with.''<br /> | ||
''A rare condition. It causes the heart to act erratically and occasionally beat way too fast. It can be fatal.'' <br /> | ''A rare condition. It causes the heart to act erratically and occasionally beat way too fast. It can be fatal.''<br /> | ||
''Apparently, I've had it for a long time. They said it was a miracle that I was able to go on so long without anything happening.'' <br /> | ''Apparently, I've had it for a long time. They said it was a miracle that I was able to go on so long without anything happening.''<br /> | ||
''Is that really a miracle? I guess it was supposed to make me feel better, more appreciative of my life.'' <br /> | ''Is that really a miracle? I guess it was supposed to make me feel better, more appreciative of my life.''<br /> | ||
''It really didn't do anything to cheer me up.'' <br /> | ''It really didn't do anything to cheer me up.''<br /> | ||
''My parents, I think, were hit harder by the news than I was. They practically had two hemorrhages apiece.'' <br /> | ''My parents, I think, were hit harder by the news than I was. They practically had two hemorrhages apiece.''<br /> | ||
''I had already had a full day by then to digest everything. To them, it was all fresh. They were even willing to sell our house in order to pay for a cure.'' <br /> | ''I had already had a full day by then to digest everything. To them, it was all fresh. They were even willing to sell our house in order to pay for a cure.''<br /> | ||
''Of course there isn't a cure.'' <br /> | ''Of course there isn't a cure.''<br /> | ||
''Because of the late discovery of this... condition, I've had to stay at the hospital, to recuperate from the treatments.'' <br /> | ''Because of the late discovery of this... condition, I've had to stay at the hospital, to recuperate from the treatments.''<br /> | ||
''When I was first admitted, it felt as if I was missed...'' <br /> | ''When I was first admitted, it felt as if I was missed...''<br /> | ||
''For about a week, my room in the ward was full of flowers, balloons and cards.'' <br /> | ''For about a week, my room in the ward was full of flowers, balloons and cards.''<br /> | ||
''But, the visitors soon dwindled and all the get-well gifts began trickling down to nothing shortly after.'' <br /> | ''But, the visitors soon dwindled and all the get-well gifts began trickling down to nothing shortly after.''<br /> | ||
''I realized that the only reason I had gotten so many cards and flowers was because sending me their sympathy had been turned into a class project.'' <br /> | ''I realized that the only reason I had gotten so many cards and flowers was because sending me their sympathy had been turned into a class project.''<br /> | ||
''Maybe some people were genuinely concerned, but I doubt it. Even in the beginning, I barely had visitors. By the end of the first month, only my parents came by on a regular basis.'' <br /> | ''Maybe some people were genuinely concerned, but I doubt it. Even in the beginning, I barely had visitors. By the end of the first month, only my parents came by on a regular basis.''<br /> | ||
''Iwanako was the last to stop visiting.'' <br /> | ''Iwanako was the last to stop visiting.''<br /> | ||
''After six weeks, I never saw her again. We never had that much to talk about when she visited, anyway.'' <br /> | ''After six weeks, I never saw her again. We never had that much to talk about when she visited, anyway.''<br /> | ||
''We didn't touch the subject that was between us on that snowy day ever again.'' <br /> | ''We didn't touch the subject that was between us on that snowy day ever again.''<br /> | ||
''The hospital? | ''The hospital?'' | ||
''It's not really a place I'd like to live in.'' <br /> | ''It's not really a place I'd like to live in.''<br /> | ||
''The doctors and nurses feel so impersonal and faceless.'' <br /> | ''The doctors and nurses feel so impersonal and faceless.''<br /> | ||
''I guess it's because they are in a hurry and they have a million other patients waiting for them, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.'' <br /> | ''I guess it's because they are in a hurry and they have a million other patients waiting for them, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.''<br /> | ||
''For the first month or so, I asked the head cardiologist every time I saw him for a rough estimate of when I'd be able to leave.'' <br /> | ''For the first month or so, I asked the head cardiologist every time I saw him for a rough estimate of when I'd be able to leave.''<br /> | ||
''He never answered anything in a straightforward way, but told me to wait and see if the treatment and surgeries worked.'' <br /> | ''He never answered anything in a straightforward way, but told me to wait and see if the treatment and surgeries worked.''<br /> | ||
''So, I idly observed the scar that those surgeries had left on my chest slowly change its appearance over time, thinking of it as some kind of an omen.'' <br /> | ''So, I idly observed the scar that those surgeries had left on my chest slowly change its appearance over time, thinking of it as some kind of an omen.''<br /> | ||
''I still ask the head cardiologist about leaving, but my expectations are low enough now that I'm not disappointed any more when I don't get a reply. The way he shuffles around the answer shows that there is at least some hope.'' <br /> | ''I still ask the head cardiologist about leaving, but my expectations are low enough now that I'm not disappointed any more when I don't get a reply. The way he shuffles around the answer shows that there is at least some hope.''<br /> | ||
''At some point I stopped watching TV. I don't know why, I just did.'' <br /> | ''At some point I stopped watching TV. I don't know why, I just did.''<br /> | ||
''Maybe it was the wrong kind of escapism for my situation.'' <br /> | ''Maybe it was the wrong kind of escapism for my situation.''<br /> | ||
''I started reading instead. There was a small "library" at the hospital, although it was more like a storeroom for books. I began working my way through it, one small stack at a time. After consuming them, I would go back for more.'' <br /> | ''I started reading instead. There was a small "library" at the hospital, although it was more like a storeroom for books. I began working my way through it, one small stack at a time. After consuming them, I would go back for more.''<br /> | ||
''I found that I liked reading and I think I even became a bit addicted. I started feeling naked without a book in my hands.'' <br /> | ''I found that I liked reading and I think I even became a bit addicted. I started feeling naked without a book in my hands.''<br /> | ||
''But I loved the stories.'' <br /> | ''But I loved the stories.''<br /> | ||
''That was what my life was like.'' <br /> | ''That was what my life was like.''<br /> | ||
''The days became increasingly harder to distinguish from each other, differing only by the book I was reading and the weather outside. It felt like time blurred into some kind of gooey mess I was trapped inside, instead of moving within.'' <br /> | ''The days became increasingly harder to distinguish from each other, differing only by the book I was reading and the weather outside. It felt like time blurred into some kind of gooey mess I was trapped inside, instead of moving within.''<br /> | ||
''A week could go by without me really noticing it.'' <br /> | ''A week could go by without me really noticing it.''<br /> | ||
''Sometimes, I'd pause in realization that I didn't know what day of the week it was.'' <br /> | ''Sometimes, I'd pause in realization that I didn't know what day of the week it was.''<br /> | ||
''But other times, all the things that surrounded me would painfully crash into my consciousness, through the barrier of nonchalance I had set up for myself.'' <br /> | ''But other times, all the things that surrounded me would painfully crash into my consciousness, through the barrier of nonchalance I had set up for myself.''<br /> | ||
''The pages of my book would start to feel sharp and burning hot and the heaviness in my chest would become so hard to bear that I had to put the book aside and just lay down for a while, looking at the ceiling as if I was going to cry.'' <br /> | ''The pages of my book would start to feel sharp and burning hot and the heaviness in my chest would become so hard to bear that I had to put the book aside and just lay down for a while, looking at the ceiling as if I was going to cry.''<br /> | ||
''But that happened only rarely.'' <br /> | ''But that happened only rarely.''<br /> | ||
''And I couldn't even cry.'' <br /> | ''And I couldn't even cry.''<br /> | ||
''Today, the doctor comes in and gives me a smile. He seems excited, but not very. It's like he is trying to make an effort to be happy on my behalf.'' <br /> | ''Today, the doctor comes in and gives me a smile. He seems excited, but not very. It's like he is trying to make an effort to be happy on my behalf.''<br /> | ||
''My parents are here. It's been a few days since I've last seen them. Both of them are even sort of dressed up. Is this supposed to be some kind of special occasion? It's not a party.'' <br /> | ''My parents are here. It's been a few days since I've last seen them. Both of them are even sort of dressed up. Is this supposed to be some kind of special occasion? It's not a party.''<br /> | ||
''There is this ritual the head cardiologist has. He takes his time, sorting his papers, then setting them aside as if to make a point of the pointlessness of what he just did.'' <br /> | ''There is this ritual the head cardiologist has. He takes his time, sorting his papers, then setting them aside as if to make a point of the pointlessness of what he just did.''<br /> | ||
''There he casually sits down on the edge of the bed next to mine. He looks me in the eyes for a moment.'' <br /> | ''There he casually sits down on the edge of the bed next to mine. He looks me in the eyes for a moment.''<br /> | ||
|- | |- | ||
!Doctor | !Doctor | ||
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!Narration | !Narration | ||
|''The doctor hands a sheet of paper to my dad, whose expression turns wooden as he reads it quickly.'' | |''The doctor hands a sheet of paper to my dad, whose expression turns wooden as he reads it quickly.'' | ||
|- | |||
!Dad | !Dad | ||
|So many... | |So many... | ||
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!Narration | !Narration | ||
|''What!?'' | |''What!?'' | ||
|- | |||
!Dad | !Dad | ||
|Please, calm down, Hisao. Listen to what the doctor has to say... | |Please, calm down, Hisao. Listen to what the doctor has to say... | ||
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|- | |- | ||
!Narration | !Narration | ||
|''I don't care. A person doesn't have to be held back by their disability? That's what a disability is.'' <br /> | |''I don't care. A person doesn't have to be held back by their disability? That's what a disability is.''<br /> | ||
''I really hate that something so important was decided for me. But what can I do about it? A "normal" life is out of the question now.'' <br /> | ''I really hate that something so important was decided for me. But what can I do about it? A "normal" life is out of the question now.''<br /> | ||
''It's funny, I had always thought my life was actually kind of boring, but now I miss it.'' <br /> | ''It's funny, I had always thought my life was actually kind of boring, but now I miss it.''<br /> | ||
''I want to protest. I want to blame this lack of reaction on shock, or fatigue. I could easily yell out something now - something about how I can go back to school anyway. But, no.'' <br /> | ''I want to protest. I want to blame this lack of reaction on shock, or fatigue. I could easily yell out something now - something about how I can go back to school anyway. But, no.''<br /> | ||
''I don't say anything. The fact is that I know now it's futile.'' <br /> | ''I don't say anything. The fact is that I know now it's futile.''<br /> | ||
''I look around the room, feeling very tired of all this. The hospital, doctors, my condition, everything. I don't see anything that would make me feel any different.'' <br /> | ''I look around the room, feeling very tired of all this. The hospital, doctors, my condition, everything. I don't see anything that would make me feel any different.''<br /> | ||
''There really isn't a choice. I know this, but the thought of going to a disabled school... what are those even like? As much as I try to put a positive spin on this, it's very difficult.'' <br /> | ''There really isn't a choice. I know this, but the thought of going to a disabled school... what are those even like? As much as I try to put a positive spin on this, it's very difficult.''<br /> | ||
''But let me try.'' <br /> | ''But let me try.''<br /> | ||
''A clean slate isn't a bad thing.'' <br /> | ''A clean slate isn't a bad thing.''<br /> | ||
''That is all I can think of to get me through this. At least I still have something; even if it's a "special school," it's something. It's a fresh start, and my life isn't over. It would be a mistake to just resign myself to thinking that.'' <br /> | ''That is all I can think of to get me through this. At least I still have something; even if it's a "special school," it's something. It's a fresh start, and my life isn't over. It would be a mistake to just resign myself to thinking that.''<br /> | ||
''At the very least, I'll try to see what my new life will look like.'' <br /> | ''At the very least, I'll try to see what my new life will look like.''<br /> | ||
|} | |} | ||
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[[Category:Prologue Transcripts]] | [[Category:Prologue Transcripts]] |