Phantom Pain/Transcript: Difference between revisions

}}NARRATOR: "I exit my final exam and breathe a sigh of relief. As I'd hoped, the exams weren't so bad. I managed to breeze through just about everything but the English exam. And even that was hardly terrible. I wonder how Emi did. How she's doing, more to the point. She looked terrible at lunch today. I mean, she was pretty happy to be out of her wheelchair. But she was so exhausted. Something's been wearing her down, and I'm starting to really doubt that it was just exams. But should I confront her about this? My musing is interrupted by a tap on the shoulder."

NARRATOR: "Mutou raises an eyebrow as if to question my statement, and then beckons me back into the classroom."

MUTOU: "That's great! Exactly the sort of thing I was hoping for. You know, Hisao, I'm glad you came here. It's always good to have a student who really gets into the subject you teach. In a way, it makes the rest of the students more tolerable. And you're a bright kid, Hisao. You took to this stuff like a duck to water, or some other such simile."

MUTOU: "No, that's not it at all. Those are tools, I'm trying to give you a philosophy. Think! If you can't observe something directly, then how can you observe it?"

MUTOU: "Yes! Exactly! Good! Remember that, Hisao. If you can't examine something directly, it's because you're looking at it wrong! You have to look at it differently if you want to uncover the truth. And if it eludes you, then look at what it leaves behind. That is the essence of being a scientist, Hisao. We never stop looking for the answer. Never take anything for granted. Observe, experiment, and observe some more. There's a lot of stuff out there that makes no sense, and your job, Hisao, is to get it to make sense. If nothing else, I hope you've learned that here."

MUTOU: "Good. Now go enjoy your time off. You've earned it."

NARRATOR: "I leave the room feeling a little confused. What brought that on? Although... Am I going about this Emi thing the wrong way? If she won't tell me, then can I go some other way?"|-|

NARRATOR: "The question spins in my head as I make my way back to my room. What if she gets angry about it? Besides, what if it's nothing? If I go in and refuse to leave until she tells me what's wrong or something, won't that come off as clingy? I don't want to start a fight or anything over something like this. Maybe I should just drop the matter. See how she is tomorrow before I do anything."

NARRATOR: "Would it be so bad to just let it go? It's not like we don't enjoy ourselves. But odd as it sounds, I really want to... help her. I don't even know what with, or if there's anything at all she needs help for. But I want to. A knock at my door rouses me and I open it to see Kenji."

NARRATOR: "No Kenji, I don't. I don't have a clue what you're talking about. But if I say that, then you're going to keep talking."

HISAO: "Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I take it the uh, mission went well?"

KENJI: "Woah, awfully nosy of you, isn't it man? You can't just go saying things like that! Things are at a delicate stage! One wrong move, and BAM! The invasion succeeds! I thought you were going to blow the conspiracy wide open? It's bigger than I thought, man. I need to update my charts. And probably change some of the puppets around. You wanna help? I've got some whiskey from... somewhere. You can fill me in on everything your investigation has turned up."

NARRATOR: "Huh. That's odd. Her voice sounds a little choked."

EMI: "Oh yeah, sorry. Gimmie a minute."

EMI: "Huh? Yeah, I'm fine!"

EMI: "Huh? Do what?"

NARRATOR: "She's got a point. It's usually the lead-in to a breakup. The prelude to a fight. The moment the V-2 with the guy strapped inside starts its engine. ... Okay, that one got away from me."

EMI: "Uh... huh. Can we at least get into bed? It's my first day back on these things, and I'm still readjusting. Plus the nurse said I should try to be on them less often. Since running puts such a strain on them."

NARRATOR: "It's a trap, and we both know it, and we both don't care. Then again, it's awfully hard to get angry whilst in bed with the object of your affections. So maybe there's that motivation too. I set Emi's legs by the bedside and lay down next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders. She immediately turns to throw an arm across my chest, and for a few minutes we just enjoy being able to be in this position again. Then, of course, I go and ruin it by opening my mouth."

HISAO: "No, you aren't. Something's eating at you, I can tell. You can tell me, you know."

EMI: "Uh huh."

EMI: "Look, I'm sorry. I just... there's these nightmares. About the accident. And I usually deal with them fine, because I can run. And running clears my head like nothing else. I don't have to worry about anything while I'm running. Just concentrate on breathing, on the rhythm of things. It's easier that way. Life's easier that way. Just keep moving forwards, you know? Nothing else matters, just getting around the next curve. And then it's the next curve, and the next, and the next. Until I can't go any more, or think anymore, or do anything but slow down and walk until I catch my breath again. After something like that, nothing else matters. But I've been stuck in that goddamned wheelchair for too long. So no outlet. Today it just kinda boiled over a little."

NARRATOR: "Emi smiles sadly, like she's trying to explain to a child that all fires burn."

HISAO: "But why? Why do you have to keep going it alone?"

 

HISAO: "Why can't you just trust me enough to let me help you?"

NARRATOR: "She pauses, as if uncertain as to whether or not she should continue. I can feel a sick churning in my gut. She continues."

NARRATOR: "Having delivered this short speech, she rolls away from me, and throws one of her arms over her eyes. The conversation is clearly over. I search for something to say, but can't think of anything."

HISAO: "I... Maybe I should go, for now. I've got...stuff."

NARRATOR: "Emi doesn't even take her arm off her eyes. She sounds tired, or relieved. I can't tell which."

NARRATOR: "I get out of bed and head for the door, pausing at the doorway."

NARRATOR: "A thousand things I want to say. But I'm too mixed up to say any of them. In admitting that she'll never let me close, I feel like '''my''' world's just been ripped out from me. What happened in that accident? I know she lost her legs, but that's never seemed to bother her. What happened there? What scares a girl so badly that she won't accept help? Not even from someone she loves? I don't know. But I want to know. I want to know so badly that being denied that answer feels like a knife in my guts."

HISAO: "...Nothing. Nevermind."

NARRATOR: "And I'm closing the door. And walking down the hallway. Down the stairs. Out the door. Into the dark."