Talk:Hanako's route/@comment-76.123.22.159-20200427092005

Possible spoilers for multiple routes! Read carefully~

For anyone who's paid attention or cares, I've had an interesting few days. I completed a route each day for the past five days.

Thanks, once again, to Fandom for allowing anonymous posts. I frankly wouldn't have the guts to do this if it was on an account with a recognizable name on it. I'm finicky like that, I guess.

So, here I am. Hanako's route. I saved hers last because... well, because she reminded me of the closest thing to a legitimate girlfriend I've had IRL. At least, I think that's why. In any case, I'm glad I did hers last, because I can stand back and compare hers to all the others.

Hanako's route is different from most of the others. I might compare it to Rin's in just how uncertain it is for its duration. But none of the other routes were a slow burn the way Hanako's was, and certainly not with such a payoff. I've gotten used to the uneasiness that all the routes have in their rising action, so to not notice it as strongly in Hanako's at first put me a little off-balance. I didn't think much of it.

I decided to play Hanako's route a little more by ear than my previous runs. I knew generally what the choices to make were, but I had no idea what to really expect from the route. Thus, at the end of Act 3, I started getting quite unnerved. They haven't even kissed, I thought to myself. Heck, they haven't confessed. Where's this headed? That usual uneasiness began to stack itself on, quite heavily. I didn't like the feeling my gut was giving me.

Whispered Touch. I already knew it was an H-scene, but I didn't let that color my expectations. I was happy to see them making strides toward really getting close to one another, as they bared their pasts to be seen freely. Then Hanako has Hisao lock the door and she draws the curtains.

I knew previously that Hanako's burns were extensive; all the way down her legs.

But I was not prepared for the full picture. Not really.

And yet, I couldn't help myself from telling her image: "You're beautiful."

I meant it. Hanako hides herself so much and the text always draws attention to Lilly's looks, but the more I saw Hanako the more I realized that she was beautiful. She was beautiful and strong and brave. The H-scene continued, but I could only see her for her beauty.

Indeterminate Future. I chuckle at the awkwardness of two tardy students walking in together; it's intended. Hisao sits and muses, "I didn't think our relationship was... Oh. That's why this feels so strange."

Oh, indeed. The discomfort rose once again - they still haven't confessed. What's this mean?, I ask to no one.

Adulthood. Hisao and Hanako begin an awkward conversation, as most are. Hisao asks, and Hanako answers. "I thought... you might eventually go away if I was only someone you needed to protect. I thought that if I let you do that... you might see me as someone more than that."

I felt like such a heel from that one sentence. It was one of the lowest points of my past week. I had been taking her for granted. I hadn't learned anything from Shizune's or Lilly's routes. I was treating Hanako like a prize. I felt disgusted, and ashamed, and remorseful. "I thought... that I might lose you." I felt worse. I felt personally responsible for the undeserved run-around this individual had been given.

Hanako collapses, and cries. If there was one thing I wish I could do right now, I thought, it would be to give her a hug.

Hisao does just that.

In a moment, I feel all of the things I wanted to say, to do. My tears flowed readily as I saw exactly what I wanted to say play out on screen. "I'm sorry." "You're not useless."

"I love you."

I am immeasurably glad that this paid off the way it did. If I'm perfectly honest, which I will for my last review of first-run thoughts, Lilly's was in fact my favorite. But Hanako's... Hanako's route was definitely my second best.

One last thank-you to the authors. I know I'm late to the party, but better late than never. I will come back to this masterpiece. In weeks, months, or years. I will cherish it. I will remember it forever. That might sound extreme, or naive, or childish, but I mean it. Thank you.

- some guy on the internet